Go Irish!

DSC_0408, originally uploaded by (B).

I'm having starting problems. After moving to Arlington Heights, I had my parents and then my in laws and then Christa came and Mamy kochama came and so for the longest time I really didn't feel lonely. And, of course I was relying on Ro for all of my adult conversation, but then he went away to Trinidad and I realised that I hardly knew anybody here, much less anybody to just hang out with. Now that he's back he's been like super busy and it suddenly dawned on me - I know only people on the internet.
A lot of people have suggested the library but I'm still working up the nerve. There's a park near my house and even now in November there are usually at least a couple of moms there but they all seem to have their groups already. Also Aditi is too small to sit on the swings even so I don't really hang out at the playground.
I'm just feeling really socially challenged you know? I have a school friend who doesn't live too far from here but that's more like couples socialising, and I have a friend of a friend who's having a baby shower that I'm going for this weekend and then there's a friend in Evanston but that's just too far away for casual weekday socialising. Or maybe it isn't but somehow we just never do.
Just feeling whiny today.

Ro's back, a very satisfying feeling. The house is already a mess, not a mess mess but all the horizontal surfaces are cluttered with all the various bits and pieces that accoutre him - like two cellphone chargers, a laptop charger, sunglasses, crumpled bills and spare change, some Trinidadian. A coffee mug. His belt. Its nice to have something to grumble about.
Speaking of grumbling - last night Aditi decided to wake up at 4 in the morning and chill out. Usually her night wakings are quiet and she is easily persuaded back to sleep. Not so last night. Chirpy when left alone she vigorously protested any attempt to introduce the theme of slumber via lullabye or rocking. The worst though is when she finally decided to humour us by closing her eyes and resting her head on our shoulders, taking deep breaths - but not actually sleeping. Like Gandalf she knew when trouble was about to descend and would wreak some havoc of her own. In other words, we couldn't get back to her crib nor to lie down with us.
Of course now, at 10 am she's been asleep for 2 hours already while I am beginning to feel the crash from my early morning coffee. Oh the wonderful joys of parenting.

It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. My aunt was here for two days and those two days were blissful. When she left though, Aditi & I had the most painful withdrawls, either that or Aditi just picked a bad day to be a very cranky baby. I called Ro that night and wailed - how stupid he was to want to live in America where we knew no one and there are no cheddathis and you have to do everything yourself. It didn't help that I'd tried to take my aunt before she left to Trader Joe's to buy the Triple Ginger cookies and got lost on my way there, making a five minute drive a 2 hour tour around the North-western suburbs and this is inspite of having a GPS. I guess I was just feeling very dispirited.
I took a couple of days to recuperate. I tried to get Aditi resttled into her routine minus all the extra cuddling my aunt gave her and I made a renewed attempt to get out of the house. We made it to Trader Joe's and bought myself the ginger cookies and pie and um, pizza and um, potato chips and um, various "treats" too numerous to further enumerate here.
I think the hardest part about this is just having to leave her be, sometimes out of my sight while I'm doing the housework or cooking. I feel so sad when I hear her crying and she's rolled over onto one of her toys and she can't get it out from under her. The cold weather also is a bit of a factor because I worry that she's not bundled up enough or too much, so going out is not as uncomplicated as I'd like and so we don't go out as much as we should. And of course, there's just the pressure of being on all the time. On the days that she doesn't sleep on time, I become so frazzled because that's the time I have to watch TV or blog or just flake out on the internet.
Last but not least is the husband's away syndrome, don't feel like eating anything other than ramen noodles, can't sleep at night and there's a general anticlimactic feeling to the end of every day. I miss Ro and although Aditi goes a long way to making up for his absence, it's not the same.

Update: paperwork sucks.

So Ro was going to be away for the week on work, ie he'd be back by Friday. One of the side things he had to do while he was in Trinidad was to get his H1B visa stamped at the US embassy there. He had to do it since his job potentially requires him to do a fair amount of travelling and they couldn't delay all his travelling till he could go to India and get his visa stamped there. Unfortunately some part of the visa paperwork hadn't been uploaded to some database and so the Trinidadian US embassy had to manually request it from here - which means 4-5 days delay plus the usual wait time of 2-3 days. So now he's only going to be back by next Wednesday which means that I am going to be alone with Aditi for 10 days!!! I am so stressed out, since I am not sure how I am going to manage everything. I know people do it all the time but I lack daycare and/or a babysitter.
Not to mention I am going to miss Ro like crazy. Going to bang my head against a wall now.

So, Ro's in Trinidad this week, on work or so he claims. I am somewhat anxiously holding the fort here. Today was the first day that there was no Ro in the evening to thrust the baby on as soon as he gets home. In short I am exhausted but Aditi is *cross your fingers* asleep and I want to squeeze out as much alone time as I can before crashing or she wakes up again.
I keep planning these witty pieces in my head but when I sit down in front of the computer, all I can come up with are anxious sounding topics - like the doctor called her a peanut because she hasn't grown since last month or I came this close to signing up for Supernanny so someone who had a clue could tell me what to do. ( wait, that sounds like it still might be a funny post...)
Honestly though, Aditi has been so much easier than I thought having a baby would be. I know I whine and whine about her naps, but honestly if that's the extent of the problems I have with her, I'll be grateful.