So we have been "sheltering in place" for 5, 6 weeks now? In the beginning the quarantine seemed fine, tolerable, maybe even fun. Do your part, stay home, watch Netflix and flatten the curve! But everyday the news seems worse, the death tolls are increasing, the virus has new ways to kill us, and too bad if you are a poor minority. There is no sense that the Federal government is doing anything genuinely helpful. I cannot even say that it is going through the motions. Pritzker seems to be doing his best but even so, I am not sure what that will mean in the long run.

I recognize that I am lucky, so lucky. I am not on the front lines - I am not a doctor or a nurse or an essential worker of any sort. I am lucky that I can avoid going out out as much as possible. I am not asking for sympathy but what I crave more than anything is a sense that something proactive is being done - a plan being put into place. PPE, tests, contact tracing. Maybe this information is out there but it feels lost in all the terrible stories.

I am not sure what I can do to help. I am not sure that the choices I make will be genuinely helpful . I am not sure if I will be doing enough. 

I try and reassure myself that China seems to be back on it's feet, that the fact that S. Korea and New Zealand seemed to have kept their death tolls low as a sign that this virus is in fact not invincible or inevitable. 

I went for an antibody test today. The best case would be that we had it and that it confers at least some period of immunity. Again - there is no information on this question - what kind of immunity, for how long, does it mean you can get it again or that if you do it would be milder. When will we know?

ok, got all that off my chest! back to stiff upper lipping it.